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Today has been an absolutely wonderful yet horrible day. I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and half. I'm not sure if I should be depressed, or if I should be jumping up and down in excitement. I always felt like never got enough attention from him and that he always payed more attention to others especially this other girl (*cough**cough* home wrecking whore). He always seemed to go in this pattern of giving me oodles of love to not telling me where he is going or who he is with, and barely willing to communicate with me . Usually when he went to barely telling me it usually meant he was with her. I caught on this about a year ago actually. I don't believe he did anything with her (although he did confess to me that he has kissed her), but that fact he wouldn't tell me when he was with her was a red flag.

We have fought about her many times and finally she moved. I was so relieved but they still talked. She would him messages saying "I hope I don't cause you and Sarah to break up," or "if you ever broke up with Sarah, I could take her place." I found this sickening, finally Max realized what she was doing and that she had no respect for our relationship and talking to her. He swore to never talk to her again because she is a compulsive liar and is literally trying to replace me (I found that kind of scary). Things were so good and I mean really good.

Last night, I called him and found out he was down town and he conveniently "forgot" to tell me that had even left his house that day. I was honestly quite upset because I was having a really rough day and needed him and he wasn't responding to text messages or anything. I went to bed and thought nothing of it.

This morning, I hopped on Facebook and noticed one of his friend's feed was talking about this girl and she that was here visiting and I became extremely paranoid. Finally, I called him on my way to class and confronted him about this. He told me he that he was hanging out with her "didn't want to me to go nuts" by telling me, so he kept it from me and apologized saying that it was probably not the best idea to hide things like that. He also said that she was going to be his friend whether I liked it or not. I was distraught and I brought up everything we have gone through in the past because of her and how much better things have been, he just doesn't care so I ended the relationship right then and there. I felt like he was cheating on me, even if they were just friends. I decided that the future drama was not worth it no matter how much I love him.

There is so much more to the story and I don't meant to air my dirty laundry but, oh boy, I just need to rant.


I am honestly much more worried about how my emotions will play out the next couple of days. I am quite bipolar (sadly I am unmedicated at the moment). Right now I feel fine but I'm worried a bout of depression will soon hit.


I would honestly some tips on how to get over him. I've already blocked him from my facebook and dA, and deleted his number from my phone  but I just can't get him off of my mind. He was my first love but it's time to move on.

I also apologize for not being very active on this account. I use my other account so much more.

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